So, D and I talked for a long time last night after my post, and he reiterated the idea that he just wasn't happy -- and he actually defended himself a little, which was different to hear. He said, "I was THERE. When you needed me, I've ALWAYS been there." That's true, to a point, but he bailed.
Earlier in the night we'd been talking about meeting on Saturday for "scene." It would actually be a real punishment for something I was supposed to do weeks ago and haven't. After the "yes I've told her I love her" confession, I'd said no. And then while we were talking I said, "You know what? YES. I want to come over Saturday. And I want it to be REAL, and HARD -- basically, I don't want a minute wasted. Because I can't guarantee you that it will ever happen again. I can't even guarantee we'll be talking for a very long time."
He actually got it. He actually understood that I was saying it might be my "goodbye."
OK, so, fast forward to today. I began actually conversing with someone I met on SF. We have the EXACT same philosophy about discipline. He's cute. We talked on the phone and he's SMART! He sort of reminded me of Andrew with the analytical-intelligence he's got going on. He lives in Buffalo but he's MOVING to Raleigh within like a week. We have other interests in common outside of TTWD -- sports (football, hockey -- different teams, but we aren't rivals. LOL), good restaurants, literature. I haven't asked the all-important politics question yet. Damn, Dave's Conservative Libertarian shit, and my Pinko Liberal shit really became an issue ... but we'll see. It's not a *deal breaker* for me -- but it's something I have to consider if the person is outspoken like I am.
Either way, right now I feel excited and happy -- and glad to have had kidney pain today so that I could talk to him. :)
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