It doesn't stop

He told her he loved her. And now I can't breathe.

And I know it's my fault for asking him point-blank. He won't lie to me -- and about this, he shouldn't anyway; if I'm going to be so stupid as to ask, then I deserve to be told.

But I've been holding on, all this time, to the idea that he HAD NOT SAID IT BACK. That there was still some sliver of hope because regardless of her feelings, they weren't *quite* reciprocated. But now he has.

I don't understand. I don't know how I changed -- who I became that he couldn't love anymore. I'd give anything in the world to go back and fix those last months, and become who he needed me to be.

I literally can't breathe.